Today, tomorrow, and the day after
Topic: Quotidiana

Earlier today, the sky was clear and blue, and there was just a hint of a nip in the breeze. The forecast predicted it would be the hottest day we've had this month, so I pulled my one-and-only summer dress out of the closet and headed out into the still-cool morning, bound for the Queen Victoria Market in search of rye bread, fresh dill, and fresh parsley.

The herbs were procured, and a source for the bread located (will be bought fresh tomorrow), and I wandered off down the long rows of stalls as the crowds grew and the heat gathered, looking for something to spend a bit of my Christmas money on. I found a pretty necklace of mixed tortoise shell, earthy red, and pale blue glass beads to go with my summer dress.

After a little more browsing and running a few errands, I headed home to whip up a batch of my favorite dill dip for The Good Doctors' family Christmas lunch tomorrow. Although, since I decided to use fresh herbs instead of dried, and since I don't have the best knife for that sort of fine chopping, it was less of a 'whip' and more of a 'crush and mangle'. And I don't think I got the proportions entirely right. It looks like it ought to, though, and preliminary taste tests were promising. I think that, when paired with a hearty rye bread, the larger, chewier pieces of parsley won't be noticeable.

I headed back out after cleaning up the kitchen (a casual observer could've been forgiven for thinking that I'd used a weed-whacker to prepare the herbs, considering the way bits of parsley and dill were strewn all over the countertop and floor) because the heat of a city afternoon is still preferable to the heat of my apartment as it traps the afternoon sun. I had a few hours to kill before meeting friends for drinks, so I went window shopping on Lygon Street, plotting how to spend the rest of my Christmas money. Window shopping while eating ice cream is a lovely way to spend a not-quite-unbearably hot late afternoon. And having a few drinks with friends is a delightful way to conclude a busy-yet-not-frantic summer day.

As I mentioned, tomorrow is the Good Doctors' family Christmas lunch, hosted by Gracious's parents, which they've been kind enough to include me in. I'm even in the adults' Kris Kringle gift exchange. Although I wonder if I ought to bring a little something for grandkids as well. Maybe I can find some Christmas goodies at the market tomorrow when I go pick up the bread. I'll spend Christmas morning with the Three Bears, and have lunch with them and the Good Doctors.

It still doesn't feel like Christmas to me. Throw all the Christmas trees, poinsettias, carols and Santas you want at me, if I'm wearing sandals, its just not Christmas time. The Salvation Army folks have trying their best to convince me that it is, with their little brass duos and trios on every other street corner, but I'm not buying. And you know what else is odd to me? Those brass players are young. Late teens or early twenties, most of them. I don't think I've ever seen a Salvation Army musical ensemble in the States that was younger than late middle age.

Enough of my loosely holiday-themed rambling. I hope that all of you have holiday plans that involve lots of cheer (of whatever kind suits you best). As they say in Australia, where a name isn't a name unless it has a nickname, have a happy Chrissie! Or as they say at Daily Kos, happy Chrismukkwanza!

Spam scams and sweatshops
Topic: Development
Like Barista, I can't believe that there are people who a) ever did, and b) still continue to fall for 419 scam e-mails. Can that many people really have missed out on both the adage that "if something seems too good to be true, it probably is" as well as all the publicity about 419 scams that has been published in recent years? I am fascinated by the fact that there is an entire industry, believed to be one of Nigeria's largest,* devoted this scam. Barista points to my heart's in accra for further discussion of the phenomenon. (Take this quiz if you want to find out which Nigerian spammer you are.)

my heart's in accra taught me something new, which is always exciting, particularly when it involves one of my favorite countries. I had no idea that Cambodia has a garment industry regulations that are exemplary in terms of the protection and benefits they provide to industry employees. Unfortunately, the Cambodian garment industry is now facing stiff competition from the Chinese garment industry, which does not offer its workers the same protections (to say the least). According to this article (link from Beth's Blog), the Gap is a major American retailer with a strong commitment to Cambodia, so you have a good chance of finding that label in their clothes, as well as those from Old Navy and Banana Republic. This article (also from Beth's Blog) names some other major companies and retailers that buy Cambodian-made goods. Not that I'm encouraging anyone to shop at the mall. But if you're going to, keep an eye out for the "Made in Cambodia" label.

An interesting connection between the stories is the problem of corruption in Cambodia and Nigeria. In Cambodia, bribes to corrupt officials increase costs, undercutting garment factory profits and putting workers' jobs at risk. In Nigeria, corruption creates an atmosphere in which the various 419 spam scams can flourish. Transparency International, discusses some of the many costs of corruption. Based on TI's 2005 Corruption Perceptions Index, Cambodia and Nigeria both face significant challenges in combating entrenched corruption, with both countries currently ranked very near the bottom of the index.


*From the paper 'The Nigerian "419" Advance Fee Scams: Prank or Peril?' by Harvey Glickman of Haverford College, which is a fascinating read in terms of contextualizing the phenomenon historically (the type of scam dates from the 16th century) and politically (unemployed techies, political corruption, criminal networks are just some of the factors contributing to the strength of the 419 industry in Nigeria).

Oddities
Topic: Odds and ends
Eh, so I should be doing research since the library is closed next week, but I'm distracted anyway by what an incredibly gorgeous day it is outside and need to kill a few minutes before I head outside to eat lunch on the lawn and soak up some sunshine (sorry, northeasterners, am I rubbing in all the warmth and the sunshine too much?), so I figure its a good time to do this, which has been sent my way by Kate (who got some kick-ass boots for Christmas, by the way).

The first player of this game starts with the topic five weird habits of yourself, and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says You are tagged (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

I'll try to confine this to weird habits that won't send people off shrieking in disgust and unable to look me in the eye ever again. I know, I'm no fun at all. The funny thing about quirks, though, is that you never know what's going to set people off. For instance:

1. I've had several friends express their shock and disgust that I feel absolutely no shame in publicly disassembling a sandwich with my fingers to dig out bits of tomato when I forget to order it without, or the sandwich makers forget to make it without. I absolutely loathe tomato. I've been successful in getting past my dislike of various other foods, but the tomato hatred apparently springs eternal. A possibly even weirder habit caused by this tomato aversion is the way I eat salsa, which is to stick a chip straight in, pull it straight out, and if necessary, gently scrape any clinging tomato bits off on the side of the jar or bowl. Love the salsa flavor, can't stand the chunks of tomato.

2. I eat the chocolate off the sides of a Kit-Kat bar first, then eat the wafery bit, which I sometimes disassemble layer by layer. And of course, lick my fingers with gusto after, another habit that tends to bother friends who dislike habit #1.

3. When I'm shopping, I make faces at particularly unattractive garments that catch my eye. The feeling of polyester makes me cringe, yet I touch polyester-nylon knits in the store just to make myself shudder. I've also been known to freeze next to displays of silk clothing just to inhale the scent of silk. If someone bottled the smell of silk-cashmere blend, it would be my signature fragrance.

4. When shopping with a friend, I love nothing better than picking up the most hideous and/or inappropriate garment/accessory/other item in the store and running up to them, gushing "I found it! I found it! You must have this! IT'S SO YOU!" Many people do not find this as amusing as I do.

5. Despite not being 6 years old, when confronted with a mass of single-serve sugar packets, I must actively resist the urge to do sugar shots. As you may have guessed, this involves downing the contents of a sugar packet in one go. My resistance is often unsuccessful, which is one more reason why its good that I don't have the money to go out for coffee very often.

There we go. I hope you're not appalled at my lack of social graces and/or cowardice in refusing to reveal my more appalling strange habits. As for who needs an excuse to post something new, I think Dave does. And Blancheflor. I suspect DamselFish is too busy, but will tag her in just on the off chance. Also agnoiologist. And anyone else who cares to expose their quirks to the world.

Cycling
Topic: Uni
I was, oh, about six on an overcast summer morning in Georgia when my parents took all of us kids down to the high school track. They brought along my bike so I could have a chance at a longer ride than laps around our driveway allowed for. It had rained heavily the night before, and I was wearing one of my favorite outfits, a deep greeny-blue Izod shorts-and-polo set. I thought the little alligator applique was so cute. Dad wanted to raise the training wheels on my bike, a step that I was unsure about. I said I didn't want the wheels raised because I would fall, and I was convinced it would be into a huge puddle that had formed on the inside edge of the track near the parking lot. Dad said, 'You won't fall,' and raised the training wheels another notch. I set off on my wobbly way, eyeing that puddle with deep misgivings. I made a couple circuits of the track without mishap until my last lap, where I headed for that puddle like I was on a lead and fell into it with an enormous splash.

I was reminded of that story today as I was heading home from uni after picking up the essay that I had been fussing about not so long ago. I did much better than I had expected. I did well, actually. I was really surprised. I had anticipated all the problems the lecturer identified, but I had overestimated how bad they really were, and I had anticipated almost none of her positive comments.

I realized that, even going back to my application to this program, I have been, not anticipating exactly, but fearing that I am going to screw this up massively. First I was afraid I wouldn't get in. Then I kept imagining ways that I would get rejected for student loans or the student visa. Once I cleared the hurdle of getting here, I started playing out various scenarios in which I flamed out and went home in disgrace. I don't know where this is coming from. I've always done well in school, I've been doing well here, I'm happy that I decided to come here. Yet I can't quite seem to shake the fear that I'm going to freeze up, flake out, or otherwise crash and burn.

I think I need to spend some time trying to figure out where this is coming from and what I can do to counteract it. For one thing, its causing me unnecessary stress. For another, if I'm going to make a splash here, I would rather not have it be one of the 'six-year-old's self-fulfilling prophecy' sort.

::giggles::
Topic: Odds and ends
Can't stop watching this and laughing. Seriously, I've watched it four times in a row. It just doesn't stop being funny.

Andy Samberg is so my new celebrity crush.

(From Gawker and Boing Boing)

Edited because if I'm going to have a celebrity crush, I really should spell his name correctly.

And, because NBC apparently does not understand the value of viral video and insists on directing everyone to their site to see the video.

Endorsing Armenia
Topic: Raving
Somebody recently was directed here by googling "Armenia, having fun, going places". I just had to say something, because its such an unusual query (usually I get ones involving essays). If you, whoever you are, happen to come by again, I'm sorry I can't be of more help since my visit was for work and happened in midwinter, which is not the best time to be out and about in Armenia, but I can attest that yes, there are places to go and things to do and fun to be had. At least, there were five years ago. I can't believe it's been five years since I was there. Hopefully, there's even more stuff to do there now. I hope others on the web have been able to be more specific about the whats and wheres (this is usually a good place to get started). And there are wonderful people there. Warm, friendly, kind, hospitable - just really really wonderful. My ramblings about the country don't do it justice at all, but even five years later, I still think fondly of that trip and hope that I'll get a chance to go back someday - even if I do have to go in the middle of winter again.

Whatever, WaPo
Topic: Whatever
The Washington Post ran a story earlier this month on the efforts to 're-brand' Baltimore with a city slogan that 'tout[s] the city's assets without ignoring its gritty, self-deprecating character.' The article was only mildly irritating as long as it stuck to a not-quite snickering tone discussing the crime rate and the 'quirkiness' of Baltimore. However, it ended with an anecdote about Hampden, the point of which was, basically: 'even hillbillies are horrified by Baltimore'. Whatever, WaPo. Baltimore is the city that could kick San Francisco's ass. Your sniggering disapproval is beneath notice.

Baltimore residents can snigger at slogans all they like, of course. Suggestions for snowpocalyptic slogans for Baltimore can be found here. I don't miss the city's irrational response to snow, exactly, but I do miss entertaining myself with speculations as to why it was that the merest hint of snow in the forecast resulted in local stores being stripped of milk, bread and toilet paper.

Merry Christmas, Mobtown, and rejoice in the glad tidings that you're not an Eyesore of the Month.

Uggly
Topic: Odds and ends
I have had far too many opportunities to observe the truth of this for myself since I arrived in Melbourne. I will take the word of friends who say that they're wonderfully comfortable in uninsulated homes on cold winter's days, but must they be worn outside and inflicted on the general public?

Discovery
Topic: Reading
I've been working my way through Scheherazade's archives at Stay of Execution, because . . . I don't know, it seems like the right thing to do when I get drawn in to someone's blog and want to get to 'know' them better. I've done it with Searchblog, Outer Life, Idle Words, and Moment to Moment, and every time, I've found it very rewarding. It's fascinating to have a readily-available record of the evolution of a person's writing style and thought. And you never know what sort of interesting things you'll uncover. For instance, when Sherry was first getting started on Stay of Execution, it seems like she was in a place in her life that's similar to where I am now. This reflection of on the value of knowing what you don't know and not being afraid to acknowledge it resonates with me, since I'm in an environment where its all too easy to feel that not knowing something is unacceptable and indicates a failure on your part. And this thoughtful post on finding your path through life is very relevant, as I'm fielding more and more questions about what I plan to be doing this time next year, and am beginning to get a bit stressed about the fact that I honestly don't know. She's done quite a bit of writing about the process and purpose of blogging that I've found really intriguing. These ruminations on how people stifle their own creativity and the challenges of figuring out what and how to blog appealed to me, too (and this post has a beautiful little story about types of creativity - if you can only read one post, I recommend this one). I'm not sure what I've enjoyed more about my ongoing experiment with blogging - giving myself a reason to write regularly, or giving myself a reason to start reading as many other blogs as possible as I try to figure out how to develop my own voice and style. It's delightful to have discovered so many thought-provoking and entertaining authors who write well (and give it away for free to anyone who happens to come across their website), and to know that there are plenty more out there, waiting to be stumbled across.

Questions
Topic: Navel gazing
'Where is your accent from?'
'What are you doing in Australia?'
'What are you studying?'
'What's that, exactly?'
'So, are you going back to America when you're done studying?'

I can't tell you how many times I've had close variations on that conversation since February. It's all pretty easy until we hit Standard Questions #4 and 5. With practice, I've developed a shallow but comprehensible summary of what studying gender and development entails, which has been a great help with Standard Question #4, although dealing with the occasional unfunny attempts to make jokes about studying gender hasn't really gotten any more bearable. But Standard Question #5, that can lead to interesting and thorny places.

Most of the time I just say 'I don't know.' Because I don't. A lot is going to depend on what jobs are available in which locations a year from now. I've got student loans to pay off, so I'm not going to rule out any reasonable jobs. I think I could be happy to stay in Melbourne for a couple more years. I like living here. But if it's a comfortable job in Melbourne vs a challenging job in say, an African or Asian country, all other things being equal, I'm outta here.

That's the bit that people tend to get stuck on. Studying in another country is normal enough. Even working abroad for a few years doesn't raise many eyebrows here. But even though Aussies in general are more cosmopolitan than Americans in that respect, for the most part, the expectation seems to be that people will come home after they've had a few years abroad. So I get some strange looks when I say that ideally, I'd like to work somewhere in Africa or Asia, and don't see a long-term return to the States in my future.

Some people choose to pursue things beyond SQ#5. One of the more interesting follow-up questions I've been asked was 'So what's wrong with America that you don't want to go back?' And it's not that I couldn't provide a laundry list of reasons, but really, they boil down to 'I don't feel like I fit in.' Viewed from that perspective, the question becomes less 'what's wrong with America?' and more 'what's wrong with me?'

It's not that I expect to find some other country where I do 'fit'. It's more that, if I'm not going to fit in, why not have a very obvious reason for being the fish out of water? It makes my difference, my sense of dislocation, more comfortable in some ways. Because its a very awkward sensation. But it's absolutely no reflection on my friends and family in the States, because I know how fortunate I am in the relationships that I have, and I know that I'm missed as much as I miss them. But even being among people who know and love me and understand me as far as one person can understand another is at best a temporary buffer from that sense of nebulous 'not-rightness' I have in the States.

That's not the whole picture, of course. I like to experience life in other places. And that experience actually makes me appreciate things about the States that I never would have before. Living in Skopje made me appreciate the value of orderly lines and respect for pedestrians. Living in Melbourne, I'm seeing how the sheer size of the US means that even the fringiest people can find a community if they look hard enough. A large population makes lots of things possible. So I appreciate certain things more, but that appreciation still isn't enough to lure to me back.

But I'm being forced to think about what it is about development and the expatriate experience that appeals to me because a fair bit of my research this past semester was focused on the ways that development flat-out fails, reinforces unequal power relationships between countries, and generally tends to work every bit as much (if not more) to the advantage of 'Western' countries as it does to 'Third World' ones. And I've had to ask myself if this is something I want to be associated with - do I see benefits that outweigh these problems? I'm still working on that question, and probably will be for a long time to come.

It has unquestionably been valuable to me to begin to examine why I think I want to be involved in development, especially now that the idealism that started out with early in my career has been tempered. This is a field where people on the outside tend to see altruism and idealism at work. And I don't mean to imply that they're absent, but I think it's important to acknowledge that there are plenty of selfish factors in play as well. My sense is that if I ever stop acknowledging that, I'll be setting myself up to make a lot of mistakes out of serious self-delusion. I know I'm bound to make plenty of mistakes for any number of reasons, but I'd really like to limit those that could be caused from a lack of self-awareness.